The Chronic

Do you ever think about the correlation between the Devil’s Lettuce and Pain having the same forename? Chronic. Yes I partake, in both sadly.

About seven years ago I was diagnosed with Chronic Lower Back Pain. I have several Hemangiomas along my spinal column that cannot be removed. I also have degeneration in my right hip and the right side of my coxys. Every year, it seemingly gets worse. This is on top of several other pretty serious diagnoses. One of whitch is Sleep Apnea. Today I met with a Urogynecologist to discuss problems I’ve been having with waking up to go pee.

This was her thoughts and recommendations: my sleep apnea is causing the problem, If we fix the sleep apnea, it will probably go away. We will start a medication that will help me with the urge to pee. I will continue hardcore on my healthy living plan to try and lose a significant amount of weight. Now here is the rub….I have had DD breasts since I hit puberty, around 12 years old. No matter how thin I was or how heavy I became, I’ve always had very large breasts. Her thoughts run along the lines of getting a breast reduction surgery right away. She even called a very reputable plastic surgeon and set me up. The thoughts are that if I get the weight off of my chest area, I’ll sleep better, therefore fixing any urinary incontinence problems.

My thoughts, I’m freaked out. I’ve heard some bad things about breast reduction surgery. I’ve heard it takes an inordinate amount of time to heal and recover. I heard it’s extremely painful and leaving awful scaring because they literally have to cut off your nipples and reposition them. I’ve also heard you end up losing all sensation in the nipple area. I mean, how will I ever know if I’m cold again, haha. But seriously, this is a huge thing for me to think about.

I discussed it a lot with my husband tonight. We both kind of agreed we’d go to the plastic surgeon, listen to what he has to say, get the facts. But in the end I will be making the decision to use this year to get as healthy as I can. I will use the year to get back down to a healthy, manageable weight. If, in January 2019, I still have size DD breasts, I’ll go for the surgery.

It’s been a long day. Who am I kidding? It’s been a long two days. Yesterday I had 14 Botox injections in my face, head, neck, and shoulders. I do this every 10 weeks to try and stay Migraine free. I’ve had excruciating migraines since I was a kid and this has been the only treatment I’ve found so far that works, and I’ve tried pretty much everything, including sensory deprivation therapy and giving myself shots of Imitrex. The Botox injections take every bit of any energy I have out of me. I always come home and sleep for hours afterwards. This usually lasts 2 to 3 days.

Today I had this appointment with the Urogynecologist and not only was the drive an hour to get there but the appointment lasted 2 hours. I felt bad for Jewels who went up with me so I wouldn’t be alone (the husband had to work). The testing was super weird and invasive, like get naked, put your feet in the stirrups, invasive. I even had a catheter inserted for testing, they had to use a pediatric one because I’m a huge baby.

There was a silver lining to the darkness today. Jewels and I stopped at this quaint little Mexican Restaurant called Fiesta Jalisco. It’s apparently family owned and operated. Isn’t that the best? The food was plentiful and it was so delicious it almost made the day worth it. We both had to get to-go boxes there was so much food left.

Tomorrow I get to hang out with my brother and his wife, my kid and his partner, and any grocery store employees I encounter. I’m still exhausted and just want the week to be over so I can get snowed in on Saturday and not do anything but decide which pajama pants are the cutest for when my husband gets off work.

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One thought on “The Chronic

  1. Oh sweets – hugs!! I have rheumatoid arthritis which causes a lot of chronic pain. In saying that, I so understand your pain. For years, I’ve also experienced back/neck issues. I’ve *always* wanted a breast reduction (I was a DDD/E) but was scared about it. November 8, 2017 I went through with it. Let me tell you, it is a HUGE difference. I am 2 months out from surgery and I’m a happy perky C cup.
    Go to your consultation. The doctor will go over everything with you. The first two weeks were the hardest with me. After that, each day got better and better. Now, all of my stitches are gone and healing is going on nicely. My breasts are getting softer and looking awesome. It does take between 6 months and a year to fully heal internally. And they don’t ‘cut’ your nipples off. Your nipples remain in tact. They reposition them higher. And trust me, I have full feelings of my nipples – LOL. A lot of people will have heightened sensation of their nipples. There are some that don’t have this; however, everyone that I know that has had the surgery have been like me – high sensation. If you have any questions, you can always write me.

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