Like You See It

I like to call it like I see it. I don’t like to beat around the bush or blow smoke up someone’s ass to make them feel better. If I see an injustice or I feel like someone has said something completely hypocritical, I call it.

Friday night Vice News interviewed the founder of a Pro-Life outreach called New Wave Feminists. She actually said in the interview “we want choices and rights but we are against abortion.”

Isn’t this an oxymoron? Heavy emphasis on the moron? You can try to be a part-time feminist but I think you’ll find you won’t get much done. This is the problem with conservatives today. They try and talk a big game about how they aren’t out to “take away your rights” but the most important right to any human is the right to decide what I can do with my own body. My choice, my body. Of course there is the argument that a “child” deserves rights too and I’m not even going to get into that argument here because you know what? It’s been litigated by science.

These people, Destiny Herndon-De La Rosa and her Facebook cronies decided to harass me online after I pointed out in a very nice way, their hypocrisy during the interview. They stalked my facebook page, my family and friends, and then stalked my blog. They sent demeaning messages about my rape when I was 5, told me I could never understand the “heartbreak of never being able to have children”, HA! These people are bottom feeders who clearly are only using their movement for capital gain. They even went so far as to make a report to Facebook that I am not using my real name. Of course I’m not! I’m using a nickname I’ve had for over 20 years that I also use here on this blog. Why on Earth would I want to use my given name when clearly these women cannot behave in a manner befitting a good human being.

These people are trolls who gang up on anyone who doesn’t agree with them lock, stock, and barrel. This mentality is why so many people are hurting and angry right now. Again, you cannot on one hand say you are all about choices and rights but nope, not the right to decide what is okay for your own body, family, situation. It’s hypocrisy at it’s highest, it’s ugliest. I simply called them on it.

My suggestion to anyone who loves this country, who loves people, who loves Freedom, do the same. Call it by name, say it loud, say it proud, call it like you see it. We can no longer allow these people to harass and bully us into silence.

If Facebook decides to delete my account because I refuse to use my “real” name and not a nickname, so be it. Everyone has to make a choice for what they believe in.

Obstinate!

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Decency

As many of you know, after the 2016 Presidential Election, I cut a lot of people out of my life. These people supported a man for our highest office, a decision-maker for all our lives. This man has proven time and again to be a narcissist, a bigot, a sexual abuser, a misogynist, a racist, and in general a despicable person. I said at that start that your vote for him was a test of your decency and you failed. I said at the start that I could not allow myself to continue to pretend like we were friends because I knew deep down you were okay with who this person was and in fact you supported it because deep down, you were like him.

This was in some cases, heartbreaking for me. I cut out people who I genuinely enjoyed or was just beginning to think had turned a corner. I had to make a choice for me though. Many other people around me have tried to justify these supporters actions. They’ve tried to change my mind. “Oh give the President a chance, give your family a chance, give your friends a chance”, they all said, “they’re good people, they’re not racist, misogynist, abusers.”

Indiana State Senator Jack E. Sandlin shared a meme on Facebook in America the day of the Women’s March on Saturday. It showed 500,000 women marching in his home state with the words “In one day, Trump got more fat women out walking than Michelle Obama did in 8 years.”

This meme was also shared and laughed about uproarishly by my own brother-in-law. My husband’s nephew even liked it, giving praise for it on my brother-in-law’s Facebook page.  Several friends and family members texted me to express outrage over it.

This nephew is someone I actually grew up with. I’ve known him since I was 9 years old. the fact that he has participated in this abusive behavior has quite honestly broken my heart. We went to school together, his sister (my niece) was my closest friend. We went roller skating together. Our moms were friends. We ate at each other’s houses. We did homework together. I watched his own mother abuse him and stood by him as a good, close friend. I met him even before I met my husband 27 years ago. He has watched me struggle with depression over my weight for 30 years. He has watched me cry and held my hand when I had bad memories of a childhood rape.

My brother-in-law I knew was a douche bag. I’ve tried and tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but he continually shows me the worst of him. My nephew though, we’re about the same age, I married his uncle who is very close to his own age. I guess the new President has given people like this a free pass to say and do what their most inner deplorable says is okay. I’m so incredibly sad tonight.

What’s worse is another Senator from Nebraska, Bill Kintner shared a picture of women marching in his state with the words he wrote himself “Ladies I think you’re safe, you’re not attractive enough to be sexually assaulted. Old Bill is actually going in front of a committee to decide if he should be fired or not (as if it’s even a question), but on the other side a man who said it’s okay to sexually assault women by “grabbing them by the pussy” was elected President. Seems totally legit.

Is this really what we’ve become? Is this the new normal for women in AMERICA?

Michelle Obama said “every girl, every woman has been a victim of abuse in some form.” Every woman has had a man either touch her inappropriately sexually, call her a bitch-whore-slut-cunt, pass her over for a job, made comments about her appearance, hit her, etc. Every single woman at some point in her life has been discriminated against by a man, every single one at some point in her life. Every single woman has been abused on some level by a man. Not a single woman has walked this earth unscathed. What does that say about our society? We lead the Free World and yet every single woman in our country, in the world has been a victim of abuse by a man.

My story is not uncommon. I was raped in foster care when I was five. I have a horribly contentious relationship with my own mother. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and obesity since my rape. I got incredibly lucky though. I met the kindest boy when I was 13. I told him everything about myself immediately and he didn’t care. He didn’t care that I was damaged. He didn’t care that I was fat. He didn’t care that I had unruly naturally curly hair. He didn’t care that I have pale white skin that never tans and tons of freckles. He didn’t care that I have scars inside and out. He cared that I was smarter than I was pretty.  He cared that I was kinder than I was thin. He cared about making me happy again. He cared about being the only man in my life besides my father who made me feel whole.

At 39 years old I have recently lost 55 lbs and I still have a bit to go but I know, this man who’s loved me unconditionally for 27 years would be with me if I lost it or not, so it’s finally for me. But now I know how my brother-in-law feels about me, about my sister-in-law Jen, my niece Jewels, my niece Kat, about any other fat women he sees.  To him, I am less than. To him I have no worth. To him I deserve to be mocked and ridiculed. To him I am not entitled to basic human rights.

I should have known he had no respect for me as a person anyway, I mean I see the way he treats his own wife. I would though especially like to take note that there were hundreds of thousands of men who Marched this past Saturday but I’ve not seen a single meme or mention of anything negative about those men. So it’s only funny when you can pick apart a female for her appearance.

I have a theory about conservative men, their bibles have turned them into prom night dumpster babies who treat women like objects, possessions. These men are not gentlemen. They do not respect women. Christ, they barely respect each other. (tangent over)

I feel awful and have been continually crying, tears, over this. I didn’t go to the March with my friends and sisters this past Saturday even though I have my Pussy Hat! My husband asked me not to go to any protests, he said he worried I’d be hurt. I respected that, but now, I feel like I’ve given these two men (through marriage) a free pass to berate and abuse women for no reason.  For anyone who had a problem with these people marching I’d like to make a few points. 1) America was founded because of a protest that developed into a war (remember that). 2) Not 1 single person was hurt or arrested during these protests. 3) It is a constitutional right to protest when you feel your rights are being violated. 4) How bad does it have to get before YOU take action? How many excuses are YOU going to make? Where is YOUR breaking point? 5) The Declaration of Independence says “We The People”, not me, not you, but WE.

And yes, I did emphasize THROUGH MARRIAGE. There are people close to me to talk shit about my two own brothers. Well, I’ll tell you this, my two brothers are Liberals, they wouldn’t be caught dead posting some bullshit degrading memes hiding on a Facebook account and then trying to act hurt that they’ve been cut out of someone’s life, they wouldn’t talk shit on social media and then try to be sweet at pie to someone’s face. My brothers believe abuse of women of ANY kind is WRONG.

I cannot, I will not allow myself to be in situations where I am uncomfortable being around someone I inherently feel like is an abuser and now I know, without a doubt, these two, fuck it, anyone who supported Rapey Cheeto, is an abuser.

YOU ARE COMPLICIT. It’s just a matter of time before your true colors come out too.