Pieces

Do you know?

Do you know he carries torn pieces of me with him?

Do you know he tore those pieces from me to carry with him always?

Do you know that he gives those torn pieces of me to you when he thinks of me while he’s with you?

Every hello, a piece. Every laugh, a pieces. Every song, a piece. Every book, a piece, Every movie, a piece. Every star, a piece. Every tear, a piece. Every smile, a piece. Every dinner, a piece. Every walk, a piece. Every nap, a piece. Every beer, a piece. Every haircut, a piece. Every ball thrown for the dog, a piece. Every kiss, a piece, Every goodbye, a piece. All of these pieces he tore from me to keep with him in hopes of always have a connection, a way back, absolution, mercy, grace.

He’ll never be able to tell you how much he loved me. He’ll never tell you about the songs he sang to me. He’ll never tell you about the dinners he made me. He’ll never tell you about the jewelry he bought me. He’ll never tell you about the secrets he told me. He’ll never tell you that the look in his eyes is because my favorite restaurant is also your favorite restaurant. He’ll never tell you about the children he raised with me. He’ll never tell you he misses me. He’ll never tell you he stole those pieces from me.

He breaks a little every time one of those tiny pieces slip out of his pocket and flickers in the soft breeze. He is fractured because he realizes now that he doesn’t have enough to make you into his vision of me anymore. He’s seared through too many of those pieces.

He could have taken all of me had I allowed it and you would still be just a poor man’s version of me because he never deserved me but oh, he deserves you, every single piece.

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One Last Treat – Joel Rockey, CNN Hero 2017

Please accept my submission of Joel Rockey at One Last Treat for the CNN Hero Awards 2017.

Joel is originally from Michigan and he enlisted in the United States Navy in 2007. While in the Navy, he was a Hospital Corpsman attached to the Marine Corps’ 2/9 Sniper Platoon in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. As a medic in the military, Joel found a great deal of satisfaction and passion in his job. He was awarded the “Navy and Marine Corp Achievement Medal with Valor” for bravery in combat while deployed in Afghanistan in 2010. He built relationships that will last his lifetime and saved many lives.

After leaving the military, Joel struggled to find that same passion he’d found as a Corpsman. He knew he loved animals, especially dogs and he loved his country. He knew he wanted to continue to help people and he knew he wanted to do that by helping animals too. He came up with a plan and enlisted the help of two friends and fellow Marine Combat Veterans Andrae Bandoo and James Plummer in becoming board members for his newly founded rescue. He called this rescue One Last Treat.

Joel has the compassion and foresight to see that senior dogs and cats everywhere, even “soon to be passing” animals need an advocate and a voice. What better voices than the Veterans in our nation?

He continuously fuels his spirit of giving by providing friendship, medical care, homes, voices, and yes, even love to those who are lost and forgotten (and I’m not just talking about the shelter animals he saves here). 

By doing this daily, he is making an impact for the betterment in the quality of life for the old souls he rescues and rehomes. This also impacts positively the quality of life for the United States Military Veterans and their families. With his programs like “Holiday With A Senior Shelter Pet”, “22 in 22” (utilizing Veterans to save a dog every day for 22 days to raise awareness of the number of Veterans who take their own lives everyday), “Treat Team Trivia”, “Veterans Appreciation Day”. These are just some of the events he runs throughout the year to get his fans energized. He also makes sure to go on Facebook Live every day, sometimes several times a day to involve his donors and fans in the lives of the animals he saves and the Veterans who take part in the program.

The One Last Treat Program allows rescued senior animals to live out their remaining time with dignity and love with any applicants who can be matched with a senior animal. All applicants are considered. 

One Last Treat Vet Friend Til’ The End matches honored veterans and senior shelter animals.  All medical expenses for the animal are covered for the rest of their lives by One Last Treat, this enables the Veteran to live with one less (huge) worry until the end with their new senior friend. At the same time this provides needed companionship, comfort, and joy to the retired veteran (I witness it every day in the live feeds).

Joel’s goal for One Last Treat is to highlight the importance of providing proper treatment of animals in their final days to all people and to all communities and to provide needed companionship for our valued veterans from Las Vegas to Missouri, California to Michigan, and all across the U.S.A. 

Joel never hesitates to pack up for a few days just to connect old friends (adoptees and animals) and other rescues like Marley’s Mutts (California), Free to Live (Oklahoma), and The Devoted Barn (Michigan) would tell you that Joel is the greatest wingman and best friend in rescue you could ever ask for. He is always ready to fly out and help pick up dogs in New York flown in from Thailand, drive across the country to “Drool For America”, or even just battle rain and ice to take a goat or mule to MSU in the dead of night so you don’t have to go alone. 

It’s difficult not to get excited when Joel opens a live feed to give an update on one of his special senior animals, or when he goes live to let us know he’s going to be driving two to three states away to help another rescue pick up puppies (he is always on the move and willing to help other rescues with their work), or even when he buys cat trees to give away free at the local shelter to highlight a cat who’s been there too long. Joel’s zest for these activities, for saving life is infectious. I have to say, Joel always has at least 2 to 3 of the animals living with him at any given time. He is blessed beyond measure and he brings those blessings to us in overwhelming ways.

He is constantly and consistently finding innovative ways to engage solutions to benefit the mission of One Last Treat. He is a hero of the America people, his fellow veterans, and to animals everywhere.

*this is my formal submission to CNN Hero Awards 2017 submitted today. Please follow this rescue on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/onelasttreat/   and hey, if you’re looking to throw some money at a good cause (it’s great for your taxes too), this one is VERY deserving. If you are a veteran or know a veteran who would love to become a Vet Friend to One Last Treat, please visit http://www.onelasttreat.com and complete an application!

She Burns

She’s built herself from flames.

There’s a raging forge inside her.

She’s always been able to get lost in it. 

She’s never been afraid to fight through it.

Ignite her. Enflame her. Scortch her. 

Leave her to smolder, she’ll find a way to burn on.

-for Chloe

Patton Oswalt

I had the immense pleasure of attending a show featuring Patton Oswalt last night, February 24, 2017, at the Palace Theater in Columbus, Ohio.

Let me preface this review by saying my husband and I enjoy Patton Oswalt and his brand of comedy on all levels. He makes us laugh about life. He is relevant and relatable to I think the true “forgotten” Americans in the U.S.A. I’ve always enjoyed his views on life in general through his comedy and any time I’ve seen him in movies or television shows I’ve been impressed with his level of professionalism.

I suggested getting tickets for this event the first day they went on sale because well, it would be a great “late” Valentine’s Day date and also because I just wanted to go somewhere with a shitload of fellow Liberals and laugh for a few hours about just how fucked up things have gotten. This show was on point with exactly what I needed and I left feeling completely fulfilled.

I remember I was in Las Vegas with my husband last October. Sadly, we made the mistake of going with some true Trumper in-laws. Oh, and top off that shit pie, we went the week of the final Presidential Candidate Debate between Hillary Clinton and Rapey Cheeto held at UNLV. Our hotel, literally on the same block as UNLV. Secret Service closed down all routes to our hotel for basically the entire day. To make up for it, my husband and I got tickets at the MGM the next night to see Sarah Silverman. Our in-laws wanted desperately to join us. That turned in to a big hell no. There is no awkwardness quite like the kind you have when you have to explain to a couple of conservative right wing ass clowns the comedy of Sarah Silverman and why they would not have a good time (more like we didn’t want them to bring down our vibe but whatever).

Enough of that shit show though and on to my review of last night’s show. A classically trained violinist from Dayton, Ohio named Kristen Lundberg opened the show. I immediately felt safe and secure with her when she announced her frizzy, curly, riotous hair was all natural baby. I had just spent 2 hours and $100 at a salon in Newark, Ohio getting my own frizzy, riotous curls beaten into submission for this show. You know, I don’t think I’ve ever considered playing the violin, short fingernails, and butt hole play in the same sentence but she made it work. I think she’s someone to watch for in the future. She struck me as kind of like an angry, unvarnished, Emma Stone. She’s just as cute but then that mouth….so refreshing. I could definitely see her in an evil twin movie with Emma.

Since I sat in the front row right in front of the stool and microphone with my gorgeous bearded husband I was enraptured for the entire show. Mr. Oswalt wasted no time getting to work. He makes it look flawless even though he was trying new material for an upcoming taped major network special (I believe I read that somewhere recently).

He began the show by coming up and saying “holy shit guys have you seen Twitter? I can’t believe this shit, it’s bad.” The entire 4,000 room audience was in unison thinking “what the fuck did this Rapey Ape do now?” You could feel it, total silence. Patton started laughing and said basically he was kidding but it was a massive demonstration of just how fucked up things have gotten that none of us doubted our President had done something else completely fucked in the time it took to get to our seats.

I kept telling my husband in the weeks before the show that I knew Patton was anti-Trump and not afraid to speak about it and I loved this about him. This is one of the biggest reasons I wanted to see the show. I wanted to go somewhere and hear others openly rake this freak over the coals as I have done for the last year and actually make me laugh until I cried about it. What I didn’t count on, what I didn’t expect, is that I would laugh harder and longer at his every day life jokes. But I did. I just needed the release of it. He does this series of jokes about a lazy blow job that I think every single woman (or even just anyone who’s had or given a blow job) has experienced step by step. It made me weak. To hear 4,000 people laughing about a common thread is unifying, this to me, is more Patriotic than any flag waving “God Bless America” singing evangelist could ever hope to accomplish.

He made me laugh until I cried, my cheeks hurt on then entire 40 minute ride home. He also paved way to a very serious, deep discussion between my husband and I about his soul crushing sadness and the honesty in his comedy. He leaves a lot of pieces of himself on stage. He makes you see his heart. We spoke about our love (27 years), we spoke about loss, gray areas, our atheism, and empathy versus sympathy and why neither are helpful sometimes. Patton Oswalt has a well of emotion and he shares just enough that you know he’s not some vapid cunt who made it one day and is just doing it for the $$, the lolz, or the fame. I would say with total sincerity that if you don’t know who he is, find out now.

Throughout the evening he went down the line of the front row and asked questions of each of us and I got to tell him about my blog. I decided I couldn’t in good conscience not write a review of the show. I felt so embarrassed to tell him about my blog and my writing. I mean I used to work for an organization teaching at risk youth life skills, drug prevention, and service to our nation. I knew he’d laugh though about the name of it, and he did! Patton Oswalt called me a CUNT ha ha, it has made this whole election mess a little tiny bit less heartbreaking for me. He made fun of my husband’s beard, I feel vindicated!

I can’t thank Patton Oswalt enough for last night. He has given me back my laughter. The crowd, you 4,000 people who showed up last night were beautiful, funny, easygoing people who just wanted a good time, thank you, you classy fucks. OHIO the Heart Of It All! My husband, you bearded steelworker lumberjack! You are my soul, you always anticipate what I need and just do it for me. Oh and whomever was smoking weed in the balcony? Thank YOU for the contact high, next time bring enough to share with the rest of the class, amirite?!

P.S. Patton, if you read this, Cancer is a Pussy but Pussy Cancer can be funny, just look at our President’s face.

Awake

It’s 3 a.m. for the third night in a row and I can’t sleep even with the pain meds and sleeping meds I’ve taken. My mind won’t shut off.

I’m looking forward to going to a comedy show with my husband Friday night but I know I need to get plenty of rest so that I can have a good time. It’s not as if I’m working too hard. I basically clean up the house, play with the dogs, cook, and write every day. There are odd days I have appointments or go shopping but lately even that is blah to me.

I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t want to interact with anyone. I no longer want to even engage on a social level because I’m so disappointed in society as a whole. I hear stupid comments about immigration. “Well, what about an illegal who commits murder in the U.S., don’t you care about the family of the victim?” No I don’t. I remember being given a book when I was about 7 years old. It was given to me to explain to me why something happened to me and why I needed to “get over it”. It was called “Why Bad Things Happen to Good People”. It’s a good read, for all ages, I suggest anyone who tries to use the above excuse for immigration reform read it and then try to explain to a domestic rape victim why immigration reform is more important than Welfare Reform, Sex Abuse Reform, Prison Reform, Foster Care Reform, etc. Explain to a domestic born victim/survivor why immigration reform is given more importance than catching/penalizing domestic perpetrators. You can’t because you know deep down, it’s a race issue. It has nothing to do with them being here illegally, it has everything to do with them being “brown”.

I no longer want to engage in a society who sit back and allow others to talk shit about and take away basic human rights from children. From fucking children, people! I remember high school. Do you? It was a complete shit show and that was before being transgender was allowed to see some sunlight. President Obama during his administration laid foundations and it was all just bulldozed yesterday. I mean are you all that worried that these children in these schools are predators? Really? Where are your statistics that back up your choices? How many transgender/gay kids have raped or assaulted other kids in bathrooms at schools, libraries, malls, burger shacks, etc.? Are you that insecure in your own sexuality that you so blatantly let it bleed all over our children?

What’s more sickening to me, what really makes me want to just stay in bed, blow my brains out, blow someone else’s brains out is that this was discussed before so many voted for this motherfucker. People in my own family, gay people in my own family defended this motherfucker. “Oh, he likes gay and transgender people. He supports the community. Peter Theil spoke for him at the RNC. Jackie Evancho has a transgender sister and she sang at his inauguration. He’ll protect gay and transgender kids.”

What fucking say you now? Try and defend your position. I’ll tell you what I said then. Peter Theil, yes he may be gay but he doesn’t want to be. He never wanted to be outed and he never came out himself. In fact, he sued a news outlet to the point they had to close because they couldn’t afford the judgement against them when he was done suing them for outing him in their publication. He never wanted the world to know he was gay. He is not “out and proud”. He uses it now to fool the gay community into voting Republican and it worked. Jackie, she’s a 16 year old kid who got paid millions because she was the only performer willing to sing at Rapey Cheeto’s swearing in. Her transgender sister did not attend the ceremony with the rest of her family. Jackie, today, tweeted the Rapey Cheeto to say how sad and disappointed and heartbroken she is and that she feels betrayed. Boo fucking hoo.

I’m angry. I’m sad. It’s not just about immigrants. It’s not just about transgender and gay kids. It’s not even just about my rights as a female in this country. It’s stupid shit, small shit. Like now it takes 7 to 14 weeks to get a straight tax return. Like military families have no lost their on-base daycare. Like people who are paralyzed and have been for 10 years are now being forced to refile for disability benefits to prove they aren’t scamming the system. Like they are shutting down PBS but still paying $500k a day for Rapey Cheeto First Lady and Son to live in New York. Like Rapey Cheeto says he walked into a mess from the Obama years but if it was such a damn mess, how he has had time to take a vacation every single weekend for the last 4 weeks? Like his first week in office, his first military operation approval, U.S. Troops killed 23 women and children in a foreign land, a land they had no permission to be in. The White House released a statement saying only “It was a success and we lost a hero Navy Seal.” Is that us? Is that the American people now? We no longer apologize for friendly fire? For loss of life?

At this point, I don’t feel connected to anyone or anything anymore. I feel like nothing America is supposed to stand for is true anymore.  It’s disturbing that I still have people in my life who question continually why I’m still not socializing with them. I learn every single day the difference between me and anyone who supported this. If you can’t figure it out, it only validates what I know.

Like You See It

I like to call it like I see it. I don’t like to beat around the bush or blow smoke up someone’s ass to make them feel better. If I see an injustice or I feel like someone has said something completely hypocritical, I call it.

Friday night Vice News interviewed the founder of a Pro-Life outreach called New Wave Feminists. She actually said in the interview “we want choices and rights but we are against abortion.”

Isn’t this an oxymoron? Heavy emphasis on the moron? You can try to be a part-time feminist but I think you’ll find you won’t get much done. This is the problem with conservatives today. They try and talk a big game about how they aren’t out to “take away your rights” but the most important right to any human is the right to decide what I can do with my own body. My choice, my body. Of course there is the argument that a “child” deserves rights too and I’m not even going to get into that argument here because you know what? It’s been litigated by science.

These people, Destiny Herndon-De La Rosa and her Facebook cronies decided to harass me online after I pointed out in a very nice way, their hypocrisy during the interview. They stalked my facebook page, my family and friends, and then stalked my blog. They sent demeaning messages about my rape when I was 5, told me I could never understand the “heartbreak of never being able to have children”, HA! These people are bottom feeders who clearly are only using their movement for capital gain. They even went so far as to make a report to Facebook that I am not using my real name. Of course I’m not! I’m using a nickname I’ve had for over 20 years that I also use here on this blog. Why on Earth would I want to use my given name when clearly these women cannot behave in a manner befitting a good human being.

These people are trolls who gang up on anyone who doesn’t agree with them lock, stock, and barrel. This mentality is why so many people are hurting and angry right now. Again, you cannot on one hand say you are all about choices and rights but nope, not the right to decide what is okay for your own body, family, situation. It’s hypocrisy at it’s highest, it’s ugliest. I simply called them on it.

My suggestion to anyone who loves this country, who loves people, who loves Freedom, do the same. Call it by name, say it loud, say it proud, call it like you see it. We can no longer allow these people to harass and bully us into silence.

If Facebook decides to delete my account because I refuse to use my “real” name and not a nickname, so be it. Everyone has to make a choice for what they believe in.

Obstinate!

Decency

As many of you know, after the 2016 Presidential Election, I cut a lot of people out of my life. These people supported a man for our highest office, a decision-maker for all our lives. This man has proven time and again to be a narcissist, a bigot, a sexual abuser, a misogynist, a racist, and in general a despicable person. I said at that start that your vote for him was a test of your decency and you failed. I said at the start that I could not allow myself to continue to pretend like we were friends because I knew deep down you were okay with who this person was and in fact you supported it because deep down, you were like him.

This was in some cases, heartbreaking for me. I cut out people who I genuinely enjoyed or was just beginning to think had turned a corner. I had to make a choice for me though. Many other people around me have tried to justify these supporters actions. They’ve tried to change my mind. “Oh give the President a chance, give your family a chance, give your friends a chance”, they all said, “they’re good people, they’re not racist, misogynist, abusers.”

Indiana State Senator Jack E. Sandlin shared a meme on Facebook in America the day of the Women’s March on Saturday. It showed 500,000 women marching in his home state with the words “In one day, Trump got more fat women out walking than Michelle Obama did in 8 years.”

This meme was also shared and laughed about uproarishly by my own brother-in-law. My husband’s nephew even liked it, giving praise for it on my brother-in-law’s Facebook page.  Several friends and family members texted me to express outrage over it.

This nephew is someone I actually grew up with. I’ve known him since I was 9 years old. the fact that he has participated in this abusive behavior has quite honestly broken my heart. We went to school together, his sister (my niece) was my closest friend. We went roller skating together. Our moms were friends. We ate at each other’s houses. We did homework together. I watched his own mother abuse him and stood by him as a good, close friend. I met him even before I met my husband 27 years ago. He has watched me struggle with depression over my weight for 30 years. He has watched me cry and held my hand when I had bad memories of a childhood rape.

My brother-in-law I knew was a douche bag. I’ve tried and tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but he continually shows me the worst of him. My nephew though, we’re about the same age, I married his uncle who is very close to his own age. I guess the new President has given people like this a free pass to say and do what their most inner deplorable says is okay. I’m so incredibly sad tonight.

What’s worse is another Senator from Nebraska, Bill Kintner shared a picture of women marching in his state with the words he wrote himself “Ladies I think you’re safe, you’re not attractive enough to be sexually assaulted. Old Bill is actually going in front of a committee to decide if he should be fired or not (as if it’s even a question), but on the other side a man who said it’s okay to sexually assault women by “grabbing them by the pussy” was elected President. Seems totally legit.

Is this really what we’ve become? Is this the new normal for women in AMERICA?

Michelle Obama said “every girl, every woman has been a victim of abuse in some form.” Every woman has had a man either touch her inappropriately sexually, call her a bitch-whore-slut-cunt, pass her over for a job, made comments about her appearance, hit her, etc. Every single woman at some point in her life has been discriminated against by a man, every single one at some point in her life. Every single woman has been abused on some level by a man. Not a single woman has walked this earth unscathed. What does that say about our society? We lead the Free World and yet every single woman in our country, in the world has been a victim of abuse by a man.

My story is not uncommon. I was raped in foster care when I was five. I have a horribly contentious relationship with my own mother. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and obesity since my rape. I got incredibly lucky though. I met the kindest boy when I was 13. I told him everything about myself immediately and he didn’t care. He didn’t care that I was damaged. He didn’t care that I was fat. He didn’t care that I had unruly naturally curly hair. He didn’t care that I have pale white skin that never tans and tons of freckles. He didn’t care that I have scars inside and out. He cared that I was smarter than I was pretty.  He cared that I was kinder than I was thin. He cared about making me happy again. He cared about being the only man in my life besides my father who made me feel whole.

At 39 years old I have recently lost 55 lbs and I still have a bit to go but I know, this man who’s loved me unconditionally for 27 years would be with me if I lost it or not, so it’s finally for me. But now I know how my brother-in-law feels about me, about my sister-in-law Jen, my niece Jewels, my niece Kat, about any other fat women he sees.  To him, I am less than. To him I have no worth. To him I deserve to be mocked and ridiculed. To him I am not entitled to basic human rights.

I should have known he had no respect for me as a person anyway, I mean I see the way he treats his own wife. I would though especially like to take note that there were hundreds of thousands of men who Marched this past Saturday but I’ve not seen a single meme or mention of anything negative about those men. So it’s only funny when you can pick apart a female for her appearance.

I have a theory about conservative men, their bibles have turned them into prom night dumpster babies who treat women like objects, possessions. These men are not gentlemen. They do not respect women. Christ, they barely respect each other. (tangent over)

I feel awful and have been continually crying, tears, over this. I didn’t go to the March with my friends and sisters this past Saturday even though I have my Pussy Hat! My husband asked me not to go to any protests, he said he worried I’d be hurt. I respected that, but now, I feel like I’ve given these two men (through marriage) a free pass to berate and abuse women for no reason.  For anyone who had a problem with these people marching I’d like to make a few points. 1) America was founded because of a protest that developed into a war (remember that). 2) Not 1 single person was hurt or arrested during these protests. 3) It is a constitutional right to protest when you feel your rights are being violated. 4) How bad does it have to get before YOU take action? How many excuses are YOU going to make? Where is YOUR breaking point? 5) The Declaration of Independence says “We The People”, not me, not you, but WE.

And yes, I did emphasize THROUGH MARRIAGE. There are people close to me to talk shit about my two own brothers. Well, I’ll tell you this, my two brothers are Liberals, they wouldn’t be caught dead posting some bullshit degrading memes hiding on a Facebook account and then trying to act hurt that they’ve been cut out of someone’s life, they wouldn’t talk shit on social media and then try to be sweet at pie to someone’s face. My brothers believe abuse of women of ANY kind is WRONG.

I cannot, I will not allow myself to be in situations where I am uncomfortable being around someone I inherently feel like is an abuser and now I know, without a doubt, these two, fuck it, anyone who supported Rapey Cheeto, is an abuser.

YOU ARE COMPLICIT. It’s just a matter of time before your true colors come out too.

Reflection

A relationship should be two people sharing a reflection of each other. Each paralleling one another to build your collective dreams. You should mirror one another in your expectations.

Every person is an original, unique in their own way but when you reach out to that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you should be reaching out on the soul level. It leaves you in a place of never feeling alone. It’s a one of a kind feeling and becomes one in a million when you can reflect that inspiration back to your love

If you find yourself looking at your mate and seeing stark differences in where you want to go, who you want to be, what you’d like to accomplish you’ll find you shouldn’t be with that person. Don’t be afraid to move on. Keep searching. It’s not worth a vacancy in your heart to waste time on someone who clearly isn’t ready to make the same promises you are. Let them be a part of your history.

Be strong. Be ready. Be open.

Let’s Talk

I think people need to take this opportunity and really start honest conversations on both sides about what can be fixed, who can change, where we can compromise so that we can all live better lives.

To do that though, we all have to be very, very honest about the people we voted for. Hillary had issues sure. She wasn’t Satan. And Trump is not the Messiah.

You cannot tell me honestly that as a good person, just a good person you would ever condone his behavior if he said any of what he’s said, tweeted, or done in your personal presence. You wouldn’t condone it if he did or said those things to your wife, mother, or daughter. You would not tolerate your own sons speaking to people, fucking over people like he does.

Stop talking about Hillary. No one cares about her anymore lol. We care about the awful person you people act like the sun rises and sets for. We are good people too. The difference is, we are able to tell the truth about the people we vote for. Hillary did some stupid shit, but you know what? She didn’t do it alone (approval from others for Benghazi/Congress slashed security at Embassy, others in government use private emails, cell phones, and servers) and she doesn’t come close to compromising my personal safety like the Rapey Cheeto does.

So let’s get real, let’s have a real conversation where we talk about something relevant because the Clinton’s no longer are. Let’s talk about something other than safe spaces, coloring books, and puppies. Let’s talk about your incoherent belief that your opinion is now fact and anything else is fake news. Let’s talk about Rapey Cheeto’s ties to Russia and Israel. Better, let’s talk about Congress and how they plan to shut down everyone who isn’t a part of the 1% and how you can help prevent your friends, family, and neighbors from dying.

And finally let’s all make an agreement right now that since you voted for Trump, when war breaks out, you get to sign up to serve first. Then your sons and daughters and then your grandchildren. I didn’t vote for him. I’ll not fight for him.

There’s No Cure for Being a Cunt

You’ve been diagnosed and it’s unfortunate. You’ll always be a cunt. Don’t feel too badly about it, about 60 million other Americans share your biology.

Here are some simple questions to ask yourself to analyze whether or not you are in fact an incorrigible cunt.

  1. Do you find yourself believing that you are capable of determining how others should live their lives?
  2. Do you believe you live a more moral life than others?
  3. Do you surmise that your opinion is fact even in the face of real facts?
  4. Do you feel the need to defend your actions with excuses?
  5. Are you afraid of progress and change?
  6. Are you a Monday morning quarterback Christian?
  7. Do you repeatedly pick at others for not being “up to your standards”?

If you answered affirmative to any of these questions, congratulations! You are a cunt of the highest order. There is no cure. Eventually you will fade into the ether and people will ostracize you because you are no longer relevant to a successful society.